This topic we will discuss how to criticize without demeaning other people. One of the most common failures in human relationships is that people always try to increase their self-esteem by lowering the self-esteem of others.

Indeed, there are times when we have to correct something that is wrong, we have to justify something that is outside the context of our work to our friend who made the mistake.

But there are two types of criticism: the first is that we criticize specifically to improve something by building ourselves up, or the second is just to satisfy our ego.

If, for example, criticism is only to satisfy our ego, then our material today is useless, because our material this time is how we can criticize other people in an elegant way.

Without having to hurt other people’s feelings and a win-win solution, we win and he wins.

The art of conveying elegant criticism without having to hurt other people’s feelings is something that is mandatory or must be possessed by a leader who is not feared, but is indeed respected and held in high esteem.

People can be respected and respected as leaders, it is because of the way they and others can respect us, people respect us, people respect us.

How to criticize elegantly without hurting other people’s feelings with these 7 steps

How can we elegantly criticize someone’s mistakes without hurting them?

There are important things we must know so that our criticism can achieve its goals or be successful.

1. Deliver criticism in private, not in front of other people

Because if we criticize it in front of other people, be it our subordinates, let alone our colleagues or superiors, it could actually pave the way for the next war.

Whatever the typical person, whether he is choleric, melancholic, optimistic, apathetic, no one wants to be blamed in front of other people!

So, don’t criticize us in front of others. Later, for example, if he makes a mistake, we will invite him, maybe have coffee and have a casual chat.

We determine the right time to chat because even if it is not the right time to chat, it will not produce anything.

For example, how we criticize other people, on the one hand maybe their child is not going to grade, his wife is angry and there are many unpleasant incidents, then suddenly we are talking about his mistakes.

Yes, you can come in or you can’t, so in private and at the right time you have to chat together, together over coffee, maybe for example. Just us and him, can create an extraordinary atmosphere of intimacy.

2. The step we must take is to start criticism by flattering it

We start criticism by praising what he has done, because sweet words or praise are the best entry point to make the atmosphere friendlier, the atmosphere more fluid.

And also the person we want to criticize will relax his defense, that is, our goal is how he can improve his performance.

To get better so that the effect on the team is good, that’s the goal. When we say: I want to chat with you.

He already felt like he was going to be criticized, so he was defensive first. So, by complimenting him upfront after we meet in person, he can let down any defenses he previously had.

We praise him, he can open his mind to the criticism that we will convey later!

Does that mean we have to be sycophants when we praise? No, humans are like Yin and Yang, as white as someone is there must be black and as black as someone there must be white!

This means that no matter how bad a person is, there must be a good side and the best person must have a black side or a bad side.

We see it from the good side, we open it with flattery and maybe that way he will open a space for discussion with us.

Why did he do it, how did he do it, why did he make that mistake, so that we can find out and we can find a way out together.

So our goal is how can we solve that problem and make it much better than it is now, that’s the goal.

So our goal is not to win over our ego so that we are satisfied with scolding it, if we are like that, then this will never end and this will never end.

Because if it’s like that, after being criticized, there will be another spark of war and this will never end, it will continue like that.

And my suggestion, if we praise him on target, what we really admire about him, we start from there and we go into what he needs to improve.

3. Make the criticism impersonal

That is, we criticize his behavior, actions, not the person. So, the problem is that when we want to criticize someone, we already hate that figure or person.

If we already hate someone, whatever they do, whether good or bad, we will not like their actions because we already hate that person.

One of the values ​​of our maturity at work or our professionalism that develops and grows maturely is that we can separate our personal hatred from our hatred of our actions.

So what should be criticized is the action, not the person, if you can’t, it’s because you already hate the person.

Because that is no longer the problem but has become your problem, you are the problem. So what deserves criticism is the action, not the person.

4. When we criticize, always provide answers or solutions to all the problems they have

Not just criticizing, criticizing, criticizing, criticizing, but there is no solution, because that is a person’s problem after being reprimanded by his superior, after being told by his business friend.

The biggest question is what should I do? When you criticize others for a mistake, on the one hand you must also be willing to tell them the points they need to improve.

So basically we only talk about the mistake a little, but we have to make the solution at length, so that he doesn’t feel like he made a mistake.

But at that time, he was learning to be a better person in the future and the emphasis of his criticism was not on his mistakes, but on how he could improve them.

5. Ask for cooperation and don’t be too demanding

If we say all positive words when criticizing, the brain will also be positive. So don’t use words to demand him, but ask him to cooperate.

6. One criticism of one violation

Many of us, when we criticize, when he makes one mistake, we criticize but we spread it everywhere, we even spread it to his personal things.

We spread the mistakes in the past, we spread them everywhere.

So we don’t focus on the one offense he committed at that time, because again, we are no longer winning over our ego, but we are making him much better than before.

We tried to correct the mistake at that time so that it would be better in the future, because it would be very ineffective if it was spread everywhere.

And in fact it will really hurt his heart and what you say will not enter, whether what you want to convey is the truth, will not enter his head.

Focus on one violation, we don’t need to bring it up again, focus on the mistake he made. So there’s no need to spread it to other things.

7. Finish in a friendly manner

The rule is like this, we open with praise, then we criticize, and when we want to finish it, we close with praise.

This problem will be very incomplete if in the end he will feel depressed, he will feel humiliated, he will feel intimidated or other negative things.

This problem can be resolved and can bring positive things in the future if it is closed with positive things.

For example: “I know you’re great, I know you’re smart, I know you won’t make that mistake again, and I know I can count on you.”

When we say something like that to him, he will feel that he is still part of the team, he is part of his teammates and he will never feel insulted by what we say at that time. And he can learn to be a better person than before.

Those are seven ways we can criticize other people elegantly.

If there is a question: What about people who, we have done this, but are still hurt, still feel insulted and continue to do the same thing?

The answer means he is not part of the team because a good person is a person who, if we say it in a good way, is willing to change. Because the essence of a team is that we become better people and he can become better too.